I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I touched a dick in church today
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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