im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
