then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
