I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
