i already hear my dad disowning me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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