I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
