I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
