Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
