He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
