is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
