She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
