you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
