im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
