I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
