): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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