wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
