So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How does one acquire holy water?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
