Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
