I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
