google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
