shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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