I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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