So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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