God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
