Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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