all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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