You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
