hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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