Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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