Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
