I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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