So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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