Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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