I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
