You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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