oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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