I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
