Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
