Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
