so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
