it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
