I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
