This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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