That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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