I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
