I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
