Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No subtext here. People are naked.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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