just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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