I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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