i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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